i have always had difficulty with greetings. years ago it was all pretty straightforward, a simple shake of the hand. complications in judging the firmness of grip, perhaps, but essentially one knew what to do. this has all changed.
a friend of mine once made the mistake of gripping a hand raised for a high5, to much laughter. occassionally i proffer my hand to a friend, only to be hugged. sometimes this happens in railway stations, which offends my englishness. further, there is the odd occassion when some peculiar street buffetting of knuckles is called for, or some other hand to hand gesture that i am in ignorance of.
worst of all, of course, is the kissing. should you? one or two cheeks? fuck, even on the mouth for some people. i think i’ve sufferred every faux pas possible in this tawdry continental practice.
but wait . . .perhaps it’s not so foreign after all.
In their mutual visits, as the first act of hospitality, the guest is welcomed in the embraces of their wives and daughters; among friends, they are lent and borrowed without shame; nor are the islanders offended at this strange commerce and its inevitable consequences.
Chalcondyles, on a visit to england, with the emperor of the east, around 1400ad.
Informed as we are of the customs of old England, and assured of the virtue of our mothers, we may smile at the credulity, or resent the injustice, of the great Greek, who must have confounded a modest salute with a criminal embrace.
Gibbon’s comment on this.
Erasmus has a pretty passage on the English fashion of kissing strangers on their arrival and departure, from whence, however, he draws no scandalous inferences.
and a footnote confirming that this horror is, not foreign, but native to these shores.
